From Dice to Hairy?
by Arghannapotter
Summary: 5 different one-shots based on 5 different words. The second one-shot is where te title cames from.
1. Kill

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: This is the response to a challenge me and a friend of mine proposed each other. 5 words and 5 different fics. The first word is kill.**

One Situation where James Potter wanted to kill Sirius Black

James Potter woke up feeling warm and uncomfortable. He opened his eyes and looked around uselessly. He reached for his bed table and grabbed his glasses, only then realizing that his hand was strangely wet.

Grabbing his glasses with his other hand and putting them on, James looked around assessing his surroundings. He could see Peter still in his bed, snoring, Remus seemed to be sitting in his bed, reading and waiting for his friends to get ready to go to breakfast. That left Sirius the one in the bathroom, showering if the sounds of the running water were anything to go by.

All of his roommates accounted for; James looked for the cause of his wet hand, quickly finding it: there was a large recipient filled with water near his bed, making it obvious that his hand had been inside it.

James' still fuzzy mind tried to make sense of it for a while, until he heard a strange sound. Looking up, he saw that Remus had noticed him and was watching him snickering.

"What happened?" Remus didn't answer him, but James noticed him looking not at his face, but at the general direction of his bed, and so, did the logical thing: he looked in the same direction.

When his eyes reached his bed, he immediately realized what his friend was laughing about: There was a large spot around the general area of his waist, making it look as if he had peed himself.

Suddenly James' fuzzy mind cleared and connected the clues. He had had his hand in a recipient with hot water while sleeping; Sirius had been talking about checking to see if the myth about that causing someone to pee in their sleep; Sirius who was not in the room at the moment…

With a loud yell, James jumped from his bed, went to the bathroom and confirmed his suspicions that the running water was merely a ruse. Coming back into the room, all James cold say at the now rolling-on-the-floor-laughing Remus was "I'm going to kill Sirius."

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


	2. Dice

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or a casino.**

**A/N This is the second chapter based on the word "Dice" I think the word might have appeared twice :p**

From Dice To… Hairy?

James Potter and Sirius Black, or Prongs and Padfoot to some, were going to have a Guys Night Out. After all, James and his better half Lily had gotten married and few months ago had discovered she was pregnant. Just this day, they had discovered that their baby was to be a boy, and the two friends decided to celebrate.

James and Sirius had a habit of getting into trouble almost everywhere they went, so this time they had decided that it wasn't worth trying to stay away from it, but actually seek it. After a long discussion of about 0, 02 seconds, it was decided that the two men would go to a muggle casino.

Once in the casino, they wanted to gamble and eventually chose a dice game. They had no idea how to play or how to win. All they knew was that you throw the dice and count the number. They won some, lost more and generally had fun.

After a while after they started playing Sirius noticed a woman whose drink was swirling with nearly all the colours in the rainbow. He asked her what it was, and hearing the name, "Dice'n'Ice", immediately ordered that for them.

* * *

Hours later, when Sirius and James woke up, they were both in a fountain, in the front of the casino, clad only in their boxers.

"What happened, Padfoot?" asked James confused.

"…Well… I'm pretty sure there was a girl." unhelpfully supplied Sirius who didn't seem to remember anything.

"I remember…" James' mind finally registered Sirius' and his clothing arrangements and blinking owlishly inquired "Where did our clothes go?"

Sirius simply shrugged claiming he didn't know and suggesting they go and find said clothing. James agreed and the two re-entered the casino.

Sirius quickly spotted a guy that obviously worked there and dragged James with him. On the short walk, there were several people looking at them, smiling and saying things along the lines of: "Awesome party, man!", "That was a wild bull fight.", "I knew men could be sensible too." and "Lovely singing voice you go there, mate."

Both men were extremely confused by the time they reached their objective. Sirius recovered first and asked "Hey, Random Hotel Person, where are our clothes?"

The man didn't even blink and answered emotionlessly "You donated them."

"Donated them?" exclaimed James, surprised.

"To what?" asked Sirius, strangely not disturbed by fact.

"To APHAL"

"APHAL?" repeated the boxer clad men.

"Association to Protect Against Hair Loss"

"Oh? Ok, that's a good cause, I guess." stated Sirius.

"We'll… just go to our rooms. C'mon Sirius" James dragged Sirius away.

Once again, on their way to the rooms rented the night before, people the two troublemakers had never met were overly friendly with them. One woman even went as far as groping James' behind and saying that it was a shame he was compromised, before promptly kissing Sirius. When she left saying "My room is number 225, handsome", Sirius had his eyes glazed over and James was scarred for life.

When the two men arrived at their rooms, they were both torn upside down as if a tornado had passed by, and then come back, passed by again, did a little spin around the rooms and left again.

It took them almost half an hour to find their wands and realize they had not only donated the clothes they were wearing, but destroyed some of the others and probably donated the rest as well.

"Lily will kill me. And then she'll find a way to bring me back to life, only to kill me again."

"Relax, Lily won't kill. Maybe just maim you a bit. But she won't kill you."

"Thanks, Padfoot, that's really helpful."

"It was for a good cause, she'll understand."

"You're right" said James, perking up a bit "After all, donating brings good Karma. And good Karma, in this case, means I'll never go bald!"

"And with your usual luck, your son will be hairy"

The two men Apparated away laughing.

* * *

"So, what will you call your newborn son, Mr. and Mrs. Potter?"

"Hairy!" laughed James.

"James!" chastised Lily.

"Very well"

And so the man wrote Harry James Potter.

* * *

Sirius and Remus both laughed while saying together: "And that, Prongslet, is the origin of you name!"

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


	3. Lemons

**Disclaimer. I don't own anything Harry Potter related (unless you count the one copy of each book and the 1st two movies).**

**A/N: Warning: If you wish to preserve your sanity go back now!  
This one's word was Lemons and I honestly have no idea how it came to be. It's actually the result of extreme boredom. It started out weird and ended up worse.**

"I'm bored"

"Good for you"

"No really, I'm bored enough I could eat your pants."

"What the hell? Why would you eat my pants?"

"Because I'm bored"

"Well, don't eat my pants"

"But I'm bored~!"

"I don't care!"

"If you don't unbore me, then I'll eat your pants"

"Unbore isn't a word"

"But pants and eating are!"

"…Fine! What do you want to do?"

"If I knew that then I wouldn't be bored, now would I?"

…

"Padfoot…"

"Yes, Moony?"

"Step away from my trunk"

"But Moony..."

"You're bored, I know."

"…Exactly!"

"Why don't you go bother Prongs? He's your best friend"

"He's not here and his pants taste bad."

"How do you know what his pants taste like?"

"…"

"…Padfoot?"

"Yes, Moony?"

"You ate James' pants didn't you?"

"Of course not! Why would I do such a thing?"

"You just threatened to eat my pants…"

"But I would never eat James' pants!"

"Then how do you know they taste bad?"

"I might have rubbed lemons all over them"

"You MIGHT have done what?"

"I don't like lemons"

"Oh Merlin…"

…

"Say Moony, do you want to chocolate cake?"

"…I suppose so…"

"Good! Then let's eat your pants!"

"WHAT?"

**Thank you, oh so very much, for reading.  
A/N: Wow, you actually finished reading this and are still alive. Well, if you and/or your sanity survived getting this far, then maybe you could tell me how you managed that in a review...? *hint hint***


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